The 12 Transactional Analysis Injunctions, Explained

If you have read anything about Transactional Analysis, you have probably met the idea of the life script: the unconscious plan for life that a child writes from early experience. Injunctions are one of the main building blocks of that script. This guide lists the twelve classic injunctions, explains how each tends to show up in adult life, and describes how therapy works with them.

What Is an Injunction in Transactional Analysis?

An injunction is a "don't" message a child absorbs from the emotional climate of their early environment. It is rarely spoken aloud. A parent who is frightened by a child's anger does not need to say "don't feel"; the child sees the fear and learns. Injunctions come mainly from the Child ego state of the parent, which is why they are so often felt rather than heard (Stewart & Joines, 2012).

Two points matter. First, the injunction on its own does not determine anything; what shapes the script is the decision the child makes in response to it. Two siblings can receive the same message and decide differently. Second, those decisions were intelligent at the time: they were the best available way to stay connected and safe. That is why TA treats them with respect rather than as faults.

The 12 Classic Injunctions

The Gouldings, who developed redecision therapy, grouped the injunctions they saw most often into twelve:

• Don't exist (Don't be). The most serious injunction: a sense that your existence is a burden or a mistake. It can sit behind chronic hopelessness or reckless risk-taking.
• Don't be you. Don't be who you are, often "don't be the gender you are" or "don't be like that". It shows up as persistent self-rejection or shame about identity.
• Don't be a child. Grow up fast; play, dependence and mess are not allowed. Common in children who became the responsible one in their family.
• Don't grow up. Stay small, stay dependent, don't leave. It can surface as difficulty making adult decisions or guilt about independence.
• Don't make it (Don't succeed). Success is dangerous or disloyal. Watch for self-sabotage just before a goal is reached.
• Don't (Don't do anything). Action itself is risky. Adults with this injunction often feel stuck, over-cautious, or frozen by choice.
• Don't be important. Your wants and achievements shouldn't take up space. It shows up as deflecting praise and staying in the background.
• Don't belong. You are different and don't fit. Adults with it may feel like outsiders in every group, even welcoming ones.
• Don't be close. Closeness leads to loss or hurt. It shows up as keeping people at arm's length, physically or emotionally.
• Don't be well (Don't be sane). Attention arrives only when you are unwell or in crisis. Illness or chaos can become the reliable route to care.
• Don't think. Your thinking doesn't count, or thinking about certain things is forbidden. It shows up as confusion or blanking under pressure.
• Don't feel. Some or all feelings are not allowed. Often a specific feeling is banned (anger, fear, sadness) and replaced by a permitted one. This links closely to emotional regulation difficulties and to anger that stands in for other feelings.

If "Don't exist" resonates painfully right now, please don't carry it alone. In India, Tele-MANAS (14416) offers free support around the clock, and speaking with a therapist is a strong next step.

"Don't Have Needs" and Other Common Variants

Practitioners since the Gouldings have described variants that sit close to the original twelve. One that comes up often is "Don't have needs": the message that your needs are a burden, so the safest way to belong is to want nothing. It is usually treated as a variant of "Don't be important", and it frequently travels with "Don't be a child". I've written about it in depth, including how it shows up and how therapy helps, in the "Don't have needs" injunction.

Other variants you may see named include "Don't say no", "Don't ask for what you need" and "Don't enjoy". The labels matter less than the recognition: this is a rule I learned, not a fact about me.

Injunctions, Drivers and Permissions

Injunctions rarely work alone. On top of them run the drivers, Taibi Kahler's five compulsive patterns: Be Perfect, Please Others, Be Strong, Try Hard, Hurry Up. Drivers act like conditional permissions: "you may exist, as long as you are strong". Someone carrying "Don't have needs" plus "Be Strong" can function brilliantly for years, until exhaustion or burnout arrives.

The antidote TA offers is permission: a lived, felt experience that the forbidden thing is now allowed. Permission to feel, to be close, to succeed, to need. Permission is not a pep talk; it is taken in slowly, often first inside a trustworthy relationship.

How Therapy Works With Injunctions

The Gouldings' redecision therapy is built on one hopeful premise: if a child decided, an adult can decide again. In practice the work usually moves through a few stages:

• Recognition. Spotting the injunction in present-day patterns: the moment you go blank, the success you undermine, the help you refuse.
• Understanding. Tracing where it came from and what it protected you from, without blaming anyone.
• Feeling. Allowing the old feelings the decision was built to avoid. This is where the relationship with the therapist matters most.
• Redecision. Making a new decision from the Adult, with present-day evidence, and practising it in real life.

This is not a quick technique. Early decisions were made with the whole body, so new ones need to be lived, not just understood. If you'd like to see what that looks like in sessions, my page on Transactional Analysis therapy in India describes how I work.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the 12 injunctions in transactional analysis?

The twelve classic injunctions described by Bob and Mary Goulding are: Don't exist, Don't be you, Don't be a child, Don't grow up, Don't make it, Don't (do anything), Don't be important, Don't belong, Don't be close, Don't be well, Don't think, and Don't feel.

Is "Don't have needs" one of the 12 injunctions?

Not in the Gouldings' original list. It is a widely used variant, usually understood as a form of "Don't be important", and it often appears alongside "Don't be a child". It describes the early conclusion that your needs are a burden to the people you depend on.

What is the difference between an injunction and a driver?

Injunctions are "don't" messages that forbid something (feeling, closeness, success). Drivers are "do" messages that make your OK-ness conditional (be perfect, be strong, please others). Drivers often function as a way of coping with an injunction.

Can you change an injunction?

Yes. TA sees injunctions as early decisions rather than fixed traits, so they can be revisited. Through permission and redecision work in therapy, people make new decisions from the Adult ego state and practise them until they feel natural.

How do I know which injunctions I carry?

Look for rules you follow without choosing them: feelings you never show, requests you never make, successes you quietly undermine. A TA-trained therapist can help you map them. The Developmental Cycles questionnaire is a gentle free starting point for reflecting on the childhood stages where many of them form.

If you recognise an injunction you'd like to loosen, a free 15-minute intro call is a low-pressure place to start.